Sunday, March 4, 2012

Bumper Sticker B.O.

I do enjoy a good bumper sticker now and then.

Here's one I saw the other day "Say no to B.O." ~chuckle snort~

I have a silly sense of humor and well, I think that's good. I'm not sure how the author of this sticker knew that I had a personal nightmare controlling my stinky feet issue, but they thought enough to sticker it to the world. Yes, I said it. I have stinky feet. So do my children...sans one. She lucked out. But the other two...WHOOOO-DOGGY! Who let the DOGS OUT?!!!!!

I had always thought my stinky feet came from the fact that as a child, I had to wear hand-me-down shoes. Hand me down shoes are gross! Especially when they are handed down from multiple siblings who themselves had been blessed with foot- fungus- free- for- all. I am number seven out of eight siblings. This meant that I could potentially rest my soles in the shoes of six other people (my younger sister's shoes were too small). That's when I decided that boys shoes fit me best because of the wider style. Forget arch support. What's an arch anyway? Why is it there? Or since it is actually an area that has been carved out of the foot sole, why isn't it there?

My brothers were pretty much older than me so I rarely got a chance to try the shoes on that enthused me most. Only when they came to visit with their wives and children could I sneak a slip on. I'd hop in when the weren't looking and pace to the front porch to see if the paper boy had delivered the afternoon paper. I might have slipped on my dad's shoes to take the clothes off the line for my mom. Hey! I heard that! You think I'm starting to sound like a shoe-fetish person? Well maybe. But not in the traditional sense. I'd rather think that I was in search of the next potential home for my feet while the display was hot.

Girls shoes can smell worse than boys. My sister's tennies were generally so worn that they had holes in them. I don't think she did much shoe shopping. My other sister has feet that are much to small for a person of her age. I rarely wore hers. My mom wore the same size shoes I did. Perfect fit. But...I wouldn't be caught dead wearing them because well...she was my mom, right?

Back to the smell.

Is it possible for dirty, stinky, smelly shoes to have such an impact on your feet, that it lasts for a lifetime? Like I children are blessed with this. A daughter and a son. Neither are sharing shoes with each other or anyone else..hmmm....that I'm aware of anyway. Is it a desease? Is it a gene? Is it carma? Or could it be that they need to- take a shower more often- wear socks in their shoes to collect the sweat- or pour powder and spray- spray til it goes away?

Whatever it is, I can smell them coming from an entire room away. It's's really, really bad.
Could it be my fault? Am I the carrier of the smelly foot gene?

Oh, wait....I get it now...."Say NO to B.O"...Barrack Obama.

Never Mind


  1. Heehee. I kinda have the semi-smelly foot gene. No matter what. And I'm generally a clean person, as I know you are too. So I did see a remedy. Dr. Oz, and yes I tried it last summer, and yes it worked. You get a basin or tub or something and you need to fill it with tea, like the iced tea, hot tea, tea bags and steep it. Takes a lot of tea. Then you soak your tootsies in there for 20 minutes. Something about tannic acid. Anyway, did it once, worked great, should do it more often maybe, but it's just me and my kids, so eh.

    1. oooooo TEA! That's great advice! I'm going to get right on that! Of course my father always made me soak my feet in Borax. I'm not sure if the Borax worked....but it sure FELT like it was working.....eeek! As for the gene pool :( If you've got it, flaunt it? Wait...that doesn't work with stinky!

  2. That was a funny conclusion, but the stinky feet issue is a tough one. I don't know about shared shoes--that could pretty rough as they get down the line a ways.

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  3. Thanks Arlee Bird...That's a pretty cool name!


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